the hats we wear
“Caps! Caps for Sale!” I hope you’re as familiar with this vintage children’s story as we are in our house. It’s an oft requested nighttime story for my 4 year old. He likes the part when the man sits down under a tree to nap and monkeys steal all his caps. I relate to the part when the cap salesman tries to rest with a stack of caps on his head and a bunch of monkeys come and steal all his hats. Finally the man gets his hats back from the monkeys and stacks them high up on his head and off he treads back to town shouting “Caps! Caps for sale!”
I can imagine how exhausting it is to carry around so many caps–not to mention the neck ache! Yet, that’s kind of how life is, isn’t it? As women we wear many hats. A mom hat, a wife hat, daughter hat, an employee hat, a friendly neighbor hat, a I should work out more hat, etc. So many hats, so many expectations and roles—and often we’re the one adding hats to the stack. Pretty soon all these hats start to get disorganized, some get forgotten, and some just plain get hidden under another hat that starts to grow and take over.
You could say that I wear many hats. Daughter, sister, mother to two girls and a boy, wife, assistant of our church’s children’s ministry, co-teacher of our women’s Bible study. I’m also an adoptive mom, a special needs mom, a sibling referee, a constant co-regulator, and someone who lives with a restricted diet. I like to read, write, study nerdy things and history things; I love to refinish furniture and build things with wood; I like Asian food, and going for runs.
All those things are true things about me. At any different time, I’m functioning in many of those modes. And let me be honest, it’s exhausting. I’m sure if you’re reading this you have your own list of hats you wear and likely, some emotion tied to how it makes you feel.
Often I can get overwhelmed trying to figure out which hat I need to be wearing at any given time. And if you’re like me, you can sometimes forget the joy of wearing that hat because you’re flipping from one to the next trying to keep up.
Yet when I see life through the lens of just one of my roles it alters how everything looks. Why? Because those roles are constantly changing. I won’t always be a mom of young elementary kids. I may not always have my job at a church. Some days there is tension in my marriage. When we put all our identity into one or many of the roles we play or the hats we wear, we are like the foolish man who built his house on the sand (Matt 7:26) or tried to take a nap under a tree full of monkeys.
So, it’s still important to be a good friend, employee, or as my favorite mug states, “Wife, Mom, Boss.” However, the most important hat we wear, lens we view the world through, or role we put on each day, is that of a child of God.
When reading the Bible we see that often times God changes people’s names after they encounter him. Abram to Abraham. Jacob to Israel. Saul to Paul. The bleeding woman to Daughter. Peter to the Rock. Jesus sees individual people, not by what they’ve done, job they have, or only by their affliction. He restores, blesses, and changes their identity, he gives them a new identity. Gives dignity and humanity. Dethrones and places under the proper care of the Father.
When we become too focused on the circumstances and things of this world, we need to rest in the loving arms of our Father and be reminded of his power, presence, and love for us. We need to be reminded of who we are first and foremost. A cherished child of God.
We all wear important hats, but the one we need to function out of, the one that all the others flow from needs to be based on the Father. The firm foundation that our souls can rest on. The sure and steadfast anchor that binds us to the unchangeable character of God our Father.
“2The nations shall see your righteousness, and all the kings your glory, and you shall be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will give.
4You shall no more be termed Forsaken, and your land shall no more be termed Desolate, but you shall be called My Delight Is in Her, and your land Married; for the LORD delights in you, and your land shall be married.” Isaiah 62: 2, 4
Questions to help aid you in a time of reflection:
What are the hats you wear?
What hats are you the most proud of, bring you the most joy, and which do you wish you didn’t have to wear?
How can knowing how God sees you, gives you a new name and a new identity give you new peace and hope?
How can you begin to live out of your new identity today?
Father God, I thank you that you don’t see us for who we were, but that you bend down, hold our exhausted face in your loving hands and speak a new name, a new identity over us. No longer are we lost, broken, tired, overloaded, burdened, but we are a child of the living God, cherished, loved, redeemed, restored, valued, and seen. Thank you for delighting in us as your children. Amen.
